Is it because I’m Black?
9 07 2008I really enjoyed NECC. I have never been to a conference that was so Huge…with so much to learn! But, well…it had its setbacks. We live in a multi-cultural society. I am an African-American woman working in an area of technology that is dominated by white men and women. Sure there were some other African-Americans there, but not a whole lot. I felt a little lost and alone at NECC. I was talked over and ignored at the poster sessions. People treated me as though I had nothing to offer. I was watching a presentation, and one woman walked right in front of me as though I were not even there, then she started asking questions as though I were invisible. I went to an activity with Discovery, and felt alone there as well. The people were nice, but no one would really talk to me. I am not a leper, I am friendly, I am approachable, so whats missing? I am not the most agressive person, but as people were talking in their circles, all backs seemed to be to me, and I was by myself in a sea of educators who have the same interests in technology as I do. Why? Networking is important. I want to know what other educators are doing in other places, and share the successes and failures my district experiences as well. I found that when I tried to become a part of a conversation, no one would make eye contact with me, or talk to me directly for that matter. I am glad that I knew a couple of people there, otherwise my trip would have just been a lonely one. Perhaps it’s because I’m shy….or because I’m short….maybe..maybe because I smile too too much…hmmm….I would love to know what other people think!
I just happened upon your blog, and I agree with you. I was at NECC from Ga, and I felt the same way. It was like no one wanted to talk to me, like I had a disease or something. What can you do? Good to see some one say vocally what I was feeling.
I certainly empathize with you as an African American professional who, while traveling in social/professional circles, have experienced the same treatment. This behavior is certainly indicative of the all too familiar and uncomfortable disconnect between the various races of color and the caucasian race.
Often times, especially as of late, I have become somewhat reticent to pull the “race card”, even when the situation deems it obvious to do so (i.e. Don Imus and Rutgers Women’s basketball team incident), because of the frequency of incidents where so called black leaders are quick to broadcast injustices…
Very nice site!! Unfortunate that you had such an unpleasant experience in San Antonio. It seems to be a catch 22 situation because had you been more assertive you may have been perceived as pushy or aggressive-a common Black woman stereotype.
Hi,
I was really quite upset when I read this post, to think that this was how you got treated, or least felt you got treated. It’s hard to believe that we could be living in a world where race is even an issue in how someone gets treated or respected. Especially so in this community of educators who so often talk about the global nature of what we do and how it’s about inclusion for all people.
I’m hoping – well, not hoping, but more looking for an excuse – that it may have been your shyness or quietness, or some other reason that may have caused people to talk over you or push in front of you, rather than some disrespect for your race. That’s awful if it’s the case.
Anyway, just wanted to you know that I felt for you and hope it never happens again.
Chris
@Laurie, we will have to network so that next time, we can meet up and be a force of two instead of a force of one
@sweetback, there is a disconnection, that we must first face and then work through. I am so open and willing to do that! Thanks for the insightful comment!
@Aundreta, it is a catch 22! But luckily, I am neither pushy or agressive, perhaps I need to work on being more assertive. Thanks for the comment!
@Chris, thank you so much for your comment, and you know it could have been that I am quiet and shy. I agree that we are a community of educators, and I would hope that we all believe in inclusion for all people; I certainly do! Thanks so much for your comment, I didn’t realize anyone was reading my blog! If I am ever blessed to visit your country, and had the pleasure of meeting you, I am sure that you would make me feel at home! Thanks again!
Please do not be offended by actions of others. Just as you perceive and experience some type of emotions; others do the same. I am not making excuses for some of the attendees; however, some people are prone to disregard others and only think of themselves. If the majority of the attendees were African-American would you have done something different? I am not saying you were not given the cold shoulder in some cases, but interact with people, not colors. I would love to know your response to: Do you command or demand respect? I begin networking with people on a light note; something like are you a 1st time attendee, what does a girl have to do to get a good seat in the sessions? Usually this will get a response and you build from there. Begin by conversing with those who are willing to converse with you and to heck with the others.
What type of personae did you display that says you are friendly and approachable? Did you approach anyone? If you did everything known in the networking game and people were still stand-offish; perhaps, you just happened to be at the conference with several jerks this year.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with your being shy… or your height…or maybe your over expressive smile…hmm…maybe it is… nothing.
@alwayslaugh66 It could have been several other things besides the color of my skin, thats why I posed it as a question to see if any one else experienced what I did, or to read responses like yours to visit what I may have done or not to attract such behavior from others. I hope that this will open dialogue for others who may have experienced the same thing that I did in other situations, or help me to become a more assertive person. Thanks for your comment!
Whatever the reason, I’m sorry that you felt marginalized at NECC… and I can completely understand why. It is appalling to me how white that conference is. As an urban educator, I struggle with trying to find more voices of color in the educational technology world.
If you ever see me at NECC, come say hi. I’ll be happy to introduce you to anyone I know.
I would hope it was not a race issue. I have a question for you. I was at one event with you and I would like to know how would you describe your body language? It really surprises me how shy you are. Your body language at times shouts “Don’t talk to me! I don’t have anything to say.” And I know that is not the case. You may be new to the “technology education field” but you do have things to say, ask, learn, teach, etc.
I admit I was a flutter saying hi to people I know but I noticed you standing “behind” me while I was talking to a Discovery employee. When the conversation had a pause I did invite you in to “the circle.” One thing I would offer is just try to step out on a limb every now and then. Say hi to someone you don’t know at events like this. When I first started going to conferences I didn’t talk to people and didn’t have a good time. I realized I had to start talking to people even if I was a little uncomfortable. Yes, there was a time I was uncomfortable talking to people I didn’t know.
I don’t think being more confident would make you fall in to stereo-types. How do you become more confident? Keep learning… try something new, succeed, and tell people about it. You know I hear the Middle School Camp was a success… celebrate it. Blog about it!
@MaryAnn Sansonetti, thanks for your comment, I guess I was a little stand offish, earlier while I was in the line to get some food, I tried speaking to a few people, and was treated nicely by some, then one person, as I began to speak to them, politely turned their back to me, which put me in a different mood…so I am sure I was kind of stand offish because I didn’t know what to expect next. I appreciate your comment!
In my own personal opinion, I will have to say, No, it is not because you are black.
This was also my first year attending NECC and I had some of the same feelings that you had. I am white and I was sometimes treated the same way. Many of the people that I saw at NECC I know through my PLN, reading educational blogs & articles, and other educational organizations. But I only know them virtually. I was excited to see many of these people in person, but I didn’t meet all of them. Some were friendly, some were not. Even in the exhibit hall, many folks wanting freebies were eager to step right over or in front of me to get a pen or a pad of paper!! At a conference the size of NECC, it is easy to get lost in the shuffle.
Attending conferences and putting yourself out there takes time and effort. So get involved, take initiative, and be confident!
@techjulia…Thanks for your comments, techjulia. Funny you should say that you were treated the same way as I was. I saw you quite a few time walking with people, talking, laughing and holding quite enthralling conversations. You also had a friend with you, and I am sure that takes the edge off quite a bit. She is very agressive, and you are quite agressive too. I did say earlier that perhaps I need to work on being more assertive. But, I posed this post as a question, and not a statement. I’ve caught wind of you experiencing similar occurrences of feeling isolated at some of the schools you service, and I can’t help but to wonder if you have felt that you have been treated that way because you are a young white girl in (in some cases) predominately black settings. But whatever the case may be, I appreciate your comments. Check out these thoughts from Paul Bogush’s blog, Blogush, if you get a chance.
I wished that I had been at NECC — I would have welcomed you into the group warmly and you would have walked away (hopefully) a bit more optimistic.
I cannot address the color issue — because I hope hope hope that it is NOT an issue………if it is, than shame on us.
But I would like to address the other issue of just common courtesy and openness.
I have been to DEN events and though I was welcomed in….I still felt as an outsider who though I was invited to the party, I was not a part of the party. And I think that that had nothing to do with DEN as a company, but DEN as a group of friends. They are welcoming, VERY welcoming to newbies….but there are still those who are very comfy with each other. And in time, you will have that comfortableness too — I promise. And the good thing is, because you are aware of this issue, you will notice others who might be affected by it as well in the future.
As for NECC, well I am unsure where you went, but in general the people are quite nice, but also very self-centered. I remember being a one NECC and was in the center of a row with 2 people talking over me, and finally asked me if I would leave so they could continue their talk. Though I understood they had not seen each other in a while, I will never forget how dismissed I felt. And to this day, I have lot a great deal of respect for the one who asked me to please leave.
It does happen to us all — unfortunately.
Hopefully our paths will cross at NECC 2009. I would love to shake your hand and say “Hello!”
Jen